Resurrection

3/30/23

How’ve you been?

Did you read or hear something (clean!:)) this past week that made you laugh out loud?  If so, care to share it in the comment section at the bottom of this post?

I was reading the March/April 2023 Reader’s Digest and Chip Crawford had submitted a question he was asked by his 5-year-old grandson. I laughed so hard because I could imagine that if I’d have had a child that inherited a brain similar to mine, this is the conundrum that would keep the little dear, deep thinker awake at 3:00 a.m.: “If I ate myself, would I become twice as big, or would I completely disappear?”

I would love to have read what the boy’s answer and reasoning was if asked, “What do you think?”.

Now on to the regularly scheduled post:

I’m in the last stages of preparing for this week-end’s Human Trafficking Awareness Event (“HTAE”) and still have quite a bit to do so here’s what I’m gonna do . .  

This freeform poem was the second post to this blog.

It was originally written many moons ago, when I first started therapy to heal the wounds of life. 

What amazes me about it is that it ended up being an autobiography in reverse. I had written it without trying to force or fix it, and when it was done knew it was my truth but not sure what it was telling me. Took years to realize it was explaining how this path of healing was going to go; kinda like a prophecy, I guess you could say.  (Didn’t know it would take soooo long to play out though! Arrrgh!)

It can be hard for some to read, and others say they ‘get it’ and it’s their favorite poem of mine.

Resurrection

Oppression - 
  like a malevolent lover,
  settles back around me.
It’s darkness wraps me up, insinuating itself into my limbs.
It slides itself inside of me to release it’s poisons and acids,
  and I feel it within me, filling up all the available spaces.
After years of this affair the acids gnaw at my insides,
  reducing my heart and soul to slowly burning embers;
  fires of passion are quickly smothered by its tired listless demands blanketing my psyche.
Somehow, I realize how this relationship has taken me over, made me so codependent on this 
  emptiness, aloneness.
I try to look outside of our embrace for a spark,
  something, anything, to show me there’s more to this life,
  like - maybe? - hope
I look to the left and then to the right
  but all I see are darkened hallways with no exits.
Finally, I look up and see pinpricks of light, but they’re so far away;
  and for one brief moment of giddiness I ask someone - I think they call Him God -
  to show me the hope, the possibilities behind each star.
But before He could answer my jealous lover was calling me back,
  explaining to me how much work it would take to get to my star.
So, with the energy it requires of me, I lay back and let oppression take me, down,
  where it wants me.
  I’m its obsession, it’s my one possession;
  so we melt together again, as one.
It’s not the same, I feel restless, uneasy.  I let it pull me back into its embrace, but it’s stifling               
  me. It’s asking me, “Why? We’ve always had such a comfortable relationship.  
  Why can’t you be satisfied with what we have?  What makes you think you deserve anything
  more?”
I can’t come up with an answer, so I glance up and see those points of light, 
  which are now dots, a little bigger and brighter.  
I pull way from its grasp, its wearying heat, its familiarity, and look around;  
  there’s cool air from a breeze that originates from the Lights, but it’s a new sensation
  so it frightens me, sends me scurrying back to the old stagnant shelter.
I hear Someone whisper my name,
  trying to ease me from my master’s clasp once again.
With oppression’s hand on my shoulder, I take a few steps away from it
  and see the radiating dots are closer, more inviting. 
  With darkness clinging to me, I head towards the light 
  and for a while I dance between them,
  The Illumination with no definition and the darkness, all I’ve ever really known.
I eventually realize the Light and dark are playing havoc with my soul’s embers;
   the Light fans them into flames with it’s breeze, 
   and the darkness suffocates them with its heavy, sweltering air.
So, I must make a choice; fear claws at me to keep me where it wants me while
   The Breeze and Illumination beckon to me, 
    and I choose the path They show me.
It’s a constant struggle at first - especially when my old ‘lover’ tries to taunt me back;
  I feel obliged to acknowledge its existence for it would be rude not to,
  we’ve been such intimate acquaintances for so long.
I try to look back less and less though,
    because I now realize how much I let him despise me,
    and I am no longer comfortable with that knowledge.
The exertion of the climb resurrects my heart out of it’s embers,
    and my heart, in turn, jumpstarts my soul,
    which ignites a flame I will never allow to be extinguished again.
I do my best to keep looking up towards the biggest Star;
    it keeps getting bigger and brighter, but never blinding.
As I keep my eyes focused on that, 
   I see an image taking shape in the center of it.
Instead of turning away as ignorance and fear may have once dictated,
   I am stumbling towards it.
My crippling fears are being whisked away by the Breeze
    and I am able to walk straighter towards The Radiance,
    and the sweet Voice that is gently calling to me.
As I am getting closer I finally, fully realize the image in my Light
    is of an entity I’ve heard of, a Being called ‘Jesus’.
I think I’ll call him ‘Savior’.
Thank You my Savior.  AMEN!                            
c. P.E.M.
Time to do what I can to calm the mental hyperventilation pertaining to the HTAE in several days; looking forward to meeting with you again next week (provided I survive the HTAE, that is! 😱:))