Peace in Purpose

6/9/23

Hi Good Person!

How’s your day going? Have you done anything lately where you surprised yourself (in a good way!:)).

For me, it’s giving talks. I never thought I would be able capable yet now, when I’m doing it, it’s kinda with a feeling of peace. Not saying I’m doing them perfectly by any stretch of the imagination, but it must be part of my life’s purpose after all, since the sense of panic beforehand is lessening so much.

Hallelujah!

Had another human trafficking awareness event this past weekend. We had a total of 20 minutes (!) to make our presentations, so it ended up being just two of us giving a ten minute talk each.

Here’s a slightly shortened version of what I said:

Thank you for having us; it shows you care about a horror that many don’t want to acknowledge. Because of people like you, more light is being shined on this hellish crime that likes to hide its evil in the dark. And the more we bring it into the light, the more we can help God stem the growth of human trafficking, and learn how to best help to heal its survivors. 

First, a few words about Women At Risk, International, AKA WAR.

WAR is a greatly respected and highly rated nonprofit, Michigan and Christian based organization. There are about twelve or thirteen different aspects to what they do,  but they’re most known for working with those who have been sex trafficked. They go into many different countries around the world to help children, women and men get out of the sex trade, give them a safe place to heal, learn a self-respecting way to make a living, get back on their feet and live the redeemed and amazing life God has for them.  

The beautiful, high quality items we have here for a suggested donation were made by people who have been rescued from sex trafficking. Everything you buy directly supports these strong, healing survivors.  

Human trafficking is the fastest growing crime because as far as the predators are concerned, there is very low expense compared to how much they can make off their human ‘product’. They invest as little as possible into their victims, causing them to sleep many in a room with frequently no beds, feed them as cheaply as possible, only get them medical attention when absolutely necessary, and then make hundreds or even thousands of dollars off them on a daily basis. 

Less than 5% of all who are trafficked are actually kidnapped which means over 95% know their pimp. Family is the highest percentage, and faux ‘boyfriends/friends’ met on line or at the mall, school, etc, come in second. And surprisingly enough, 60% of all traffickers are women; whether it’s a mother or other female relative, or the ‘cool’ girl at school or work who preys on the insecure.  

‘Cool girl/woman’ knows how desperately the insecure want to be a part of the ‘in crowd’, so she might invite them to a party, then get them drunk or sneaks them a date rape drug, then records the girl being violated. She may then blackmail her with sending the video to her family, or threatens to kill someone the victim loves if she tells. 

This happens frequently through kids at schools; a few years ago I went to a talk given by a woman whose family never knew that she was living that hell while she was in high school. 

I also know a woman who wouldn’t believe ‘stuff like that’ happens in the daytime, or with school age children. 

That’s why I love and support WAR so whole heartedly. When I was a child, NO ONE wanted to know of it or knew what to do about it, so we had no recourse and rarely was anyone rescued. Organizations like WAR give victims and survivors hope that they can be helped if they’re still trapped in that hell, and respectfully heard, and fully believed when they’re able to talk about it. 

You have no idea what just that can do to heal someone who is perpetually told no-one would ever listen, or believe them, and has perhaps been living that out lie in their ‘other’ life. 

So please be God with skin for them and don’t think it ‘can’t happen here’. Consider it an honor and listen, with an open heart and mind, when someone trusts you enough to try to tell you they need help, or what they survived. It’s not easy to speak up, and it’s the only way to heal.

Don’t take it out on yourself if something did happen and you start thinking of what you should’ve done; trauma effects everyone differently. That’s why they talk about the most common responses of ‘fight, flight, freeze and fawn (as in ‘exaggerated flattery’) in reaction to fear. We don’t know how our brain will react in a threatening situations and it could be different from time to time. I know a woman with a third degree blackbelt who froze when confronted in a parking lot. It took a while for her to forgive herself, but let’s put this in perspective –  ALL guilt and shame belongs squarely on the perpetrator, and their abettors, and no one else.

Rebecca McDonald, the founding Warrior and leader at WAR International says that if you give people statistics, for example, there are close to 50,000,000 victims and survivors of human trafficking in the world today, that statistic does not make the impression that meeting one survivor does. 

So hi, I’m Pearl, the child sex trafficking and child sexually abusive material survivor you’re getting to know a little bit today.

Hell began with sexual abuse while still in diapers, and the trafficking began when I was about 3-4 years old. And like many survivors, it was family, and their best friend who were the ring leaders of that era. Anyone, including my mother, who knew what was happening told me in no uncertain terms to keep my mouth shut and therefore, allow it to continue.

I guess the trafficking wasn’t like how most imagine it; I was usually taken to the friend’s house and forced to perform ‘acts’ with males of the species while others were watching, hooting and hollering. It was terrifying, horrifying, degrading, and mentally, emotionally, and heart shredding. I won’t get into what the sexually abusive material was about; it’s alluded to in one of the earlier posts in my blog, pearlunchained.com. And more of what I survived is in those first several months of posts. 

The effects of the abuse are extensive and long lasting. When a child is abused before their brain is fully developed, it forms differently. And depending on the extent and length of time the abuses continue, the deeper the disconnections and more difficult to heal. 

But trust me, with God and intentional work and time on the survivors part, healing happens.

Amongst other things, I ended up with Complex PTSD, Dissociative Identity disorder, major depression, anxiety issues, emotionally shut down for decades, and have struggled with agoraphobia and food issues. And since it was the people I loved and was supposed to have been able to trust, and kept trying to, there was also an attachment disorder where if anyone started getting close to my heart  no matter how decent I knew them to be, I’d sabotage the relationship and push them away before they could hurt me. 

Thanks be to God, it’s all healing with the help of some wonderful and patient friends and many different therapies, therapists, mortal and immortal angels, prayer and much effort on my part. I have come a loooong way and don’t know if there will be complete healing, but life is so much better now, and I know it’s blossoming and becoming exponentially more love and purpose based, fulfilling and rewarding as time goes on. 

It hasn’t been an easy healing journey, but I’m grateful that somewhere along the way God must’ve convinced me I was worth the effort. 

And that’s something I hope YOU understand – I don’t know what any of you may have endured in your lives, but please hear this: You, too are worthy of doing all you and God can to heal. No matter how much shame, or anger or unforgiveness or anything else that you may carry, and that satan may try to convince you is ‘too much for God’ – don’t believe it. 

God loves us completely and unconditionally, and like the true gentleman He is He will not force Himself into our healing. So let’s invite Him into whatever pain, shame or guilt we carry. HE knows it’s all there anyway, so we might as well ask Him to help. That way we become all He created us to be, live the fulfilling life He has for us, and claim all the love and other amazing blessings He’s holding for when we believe we’re worthy and receptive to them.