Pt. 3, Discomfort Zones, Shame and Blessings, Oh My!

1/5/22

Hi Halo-ed One! 

What’s something unexpected that’s happened for you recently that made you smile?  Care to share it in the comment section below the video so we can smile with you?  🙂

For me, there have been a few things that brought a bit o’ lightness to my heart.  (Have definitely needed that!) One was, while walking through my favorite park the other day, there was a little treasure left on a bench! It was a homemade key ring embracing a small cross.  How cool is that?  Not saying it was necessarily left for ME, but I sure did claim it.  Get to grin every time I look at it.

The last couple of posts were supposed to be connected to today’s, but not sure I kept the focus. In any case, I think it was mentioned in one of them that I (and a few other sex trafficking survivors) gave brief talks for several fundraisers for Women at Risk (W.A.R.) International.

First of all, the survivors I sat with (and had just met that first day) are such blessings!  We cried some for each other, laughed a lot, and hugs were plentiful.  Lord knows, what we were doing wasn’t easy, but with the kind of loving support that was offered by each other, Rebecca (the founder of WAR) and everyone else at each of the events, there was much healing going on, too.

Each of the speakers were asked: What room in the house would you associate with your healing (metaphorically speaking)?  Here’s my talk about the basement . . . 

Thank you, good people, for being here; you’re supporting a cause that is very much needed.

I have to preface this talk with two things; first, when Rebecca told me about this and asked what room I would choose, my psyche immediately jumped to the basement – a room that wasn’t on her list. Of course.  And I think it’s a testament to Rebecca’s flexibility that she let me run with something that wasn’t part of her original plan. Thank you, Rebecca, for letting me be me!

Secondly, this was written by someone who’s credo for many years was “I don’t need anyone God, I just need YOU!”

For the trauma aspect, in real life basements were where a lot of the abuses occurred (in different houses) during both eras of hell.  Sexual abuse began while still in diapers, then sex trafficked from about the age of 3 or 4 and was also forced to participate in child sexually abusive material that included beastiality.  Second generation’s era of hell began when I was about 8 years old but I don’t know if it was ‘trafficking’ per se; it may have just been used by him and his buddies.

And in everyday life, basements, like the subconscious, are the foundation of the rest of the house.  It’s where the mechanicals, A.K.A. ‘Brains’ of the house are, like the electrical, furnace, etc.. If something goes wrong with any of those appliances, then the rest of the abode is effected so regular repair and maintenance are required for optimal quality of life. 

Basements are also where most people store the stuff they don’t want others to see.

Due to lack of care by the masters of the house, they can be where perpetrators hide their evil intentions and actions, and where survivors’ shove our traumatic reminders which become damp and moldy with our unshed tears. 

Due to a fear based avoidance of the subterranean room, the reminders get buried under the accumulating dust and dirt and become infested with rodents/pests, creepy bugs, confining webs and terrifying shadows. The neglected wiring becomes disconnected and mechanicals start breaking down and no longer serve the rest of the house well.

At some point survivors become aware that maybe things could be different, and reach out to the Master Builder/repairman, and healer.

Jesus.

After allowing Him (and all the mortal angels He sends!) into our lives and psyche to rewire the connections, His light can now offset the darkness. Over time we begin to see all the stored baggage in the cellar that said we weren’t worthy and we’ll want to do an immediate and complete evacuation of everything that’s been stored in the bowels of the house, but we can’t.  Because what’s pretty cool is, if we take the time to look at what we thought was nothing but junk within us, we’ll discover that regardless of what the perpetrators told and did to us and what our wounded minds became convinced of, the priceless treasures and gems of who we are were never completely annihilated, tossed aside, and hopelessly lost so long ago; they were only buried in all the crud crammed into our hearts and minds.  WE were never destroyed nor even sullied; Jesus ALWAYS knew we were pure and holy the whole time, and it’s up to us to clear our clouded-by-unearned-shame-vision to view ourselves as He does in His perfect sight, and love. 

And we realize all the precious parts of ourselves are worthy of finding, repairing, keeping and cherishing after all.

The cleaned out basement becomes a huge bonus room of light and purified air to store all the incoming blessings that have been waiting for when we survivors quit fighting and denying them; we fully claim it all when we begin to know we’re worthy of it – ALL – including the genuine love of others. And as we receive all that God has been patiently holding for us until we’re ready, we now have an amazingly abundantly filled  storehouse of love and blessings to share with others.   

I have so much gratitude for Jesus and the huge tribe He’s brought into my life, including all the members of this God driven organization for always treating me (and the others) with dignity and respect even when we didn’t know we deserved it. 

WAR is much needed; when I was a child there was nowhere to go, and no one knew what to do.  I was just told by my mother to keep my mouth shut about it, and therefore allow it to keep happening, because she didn’t  know what to do. 

Whether I could recognize it or not at the time, so many good people over the years have aided in cleaning out the shame, lies, and self-loathing in the depths of my heart and mind, helped me to find the treasure that’s been in here all along in preparation for all God has for me, like love in all its forms, and for me to do.  Chief among them is to help other survivors see their truth and value, and that they’re worthy of doing all they can to heal; I’m doing that with my blog, pearlunchained.com.  Some friends, and I are putting on Sex trafficking awareness events in various areas.  Also developing a nonprofit in order to start raising money to help trafficked survivors get a service dog, which costs around 25,000-30,000$. 

And this is just the beginning . . .

Amen!

I’ve been reading Bono’s (Lead singer of U2) memoir, or, as he put it, ‘we-moir’ (love that), “Surrender”.  Really appreciate his faith, and even though I don’t always agree with his politics and beliefs, I can respect all he does so passionately to make a difference. Not everyone can do all he does (including me – at this point, anyway! :))  Got to see them live on their Zoo TV tour – great show! “Beautiful Day” is one of their more positive, uplifting songs.  Enjoy! (video posted by U2)