‘New Beginnings’ vs. ‘Changes’

12/30/23

Hello Wonder-full You! 

Do you acknowledge at least some of what is wonderful about you? C’mon, tell me (or at least, yourself) five things that’re right about you. I’ll even give you the first one – you’re YOU! 

See? Wasn’t that easy? Now you come up with at least four more . . . 

It’s kinda funny – this isn’t the first time when using the term ‘new beginnings’ I’ve questioned if there’s any other kind. 

Is there such a thing as ‘old beginnings’? 

I think there is if we keep doing the same thing over and over.

Do you ever find yourself in that kind of rut? You may be ‘getting by’ or even progressing a little but you know there has to be a better way?

As mentioned is recent posts, these last few weeks have been rough, and there are also some repressed memories trying to surface. And when old previously buried emotions mingle with the present, it’s even harder for me to trust my own perspective let alone having faith in others. 

I’ve had enough of these kinds of emotional ‘seasons’ and it’s time to do more to heal this. They don’t just impinge on my holidays and whatever else, but they effect others too, by how I treat them due to the conflicting past and present feelings.

Not prepared to get into what has come up and all that, but I am telling ya I’m changing the ways I’m working on it all. Have discontinued working with the therapist I’ve been with for a few years (on good terms). She’s good at what she does and talk therapy can be great and all but it isn’t always the most effective way of healing the deepest issues. Have known for a while there should be a change but just wasn’t ready to move outta that comfort zone.

The time has finally come and I’m excited. I’ve been listening to various teachings of Dr. Mark Virkler’s for a couple of years now, and have loved a lot of what he (and his staff) have taught. I’ve learned to trust them (to a degree – will probably never have blind faith in any mortal). 

There was a class I started taking a few months ago but never finished because of wanting someone to walk through parts of it with me, but didn’t know who’d be qualified. Turns out they have several ‘coaches’ who do that and have been teamed up with a lady from Alaska. (And it’s affordable!!) 

It’s a God centered approach and I firmly believe He’ll do what I haven’t been able to. I’ma thinkin’ big healing is occurring over the next several months and I’m so ready for that!

I’ve heard it said people will push themselves out of their comfort zones only when the pain of where they’re at becomes greater than the fear of change. 

If you, too, are stuck in some area(s) of life I encourage you to look into various ways of ‘doing something different’. 

I’m learning asking for help is not a weakness but strength in humility. When we’re ready to move forward and ask God to guide us, He’ll always provide a lesson and/or teacher. If we make a wrong move, He will always get us back on track when we realize it. (And, again, ask Him! Always gotta ask!)

Thank you, God!

The rest of today’s post is a reminder from a year and a half ago. It’s about, well, ‘New Beginnings’. (Go figure! :))

(When it was initially posted, a friend wrote in the comment section she thought I was being too negative with the self description. So in an effort to balance it out (but it is still honest at times) I’m gonna try to come up with five good things about myself. 

Hmmm . . . let’s see . . . persistent and won’t give up no matter how long or arduous a task is if I really believe in it; learning that, as Kurt Cobain said: “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.” So I’m speaking up more and letting people see the real (work-in-progress) Pearl instead of a ‘reasonable facsimile’; becoming more empathetic; learning to enjoy life even during difficult times; and . . .umm . . . oh yeah! As mentioned above – I’m ME!  And that’s so much better than trying to be you in order to be liked – you’re good enough, and enough for the world. I’ll support you instead of trying to imitate you, ok?

Now on to the past post 🙂 . . . 

(There’s a personal observation before a prayer.)

Lord knows, I’m all for New Beginnings. So why is it I dread change? Does it have something to do with . . . control??? (This subject is becoming a sore spot :)) 

I was just thinking about how ‘New Beginnings’ sounds like something I’m determining: “I will start my own New Beginning on the day that I prefer, at the time that I choose, this is what I want to happen, here is how I will go about making it happen. This being the time frame I believe I should be able to make it in and I will let nothing get in the way of accomplishing it (for the first day, anyway).”  

Hmmmmm . . . what is missing in all that? (God) 

And what is far too prevalent?

Then, when I try to cram my New Beginning into God’s will it’s like trying to jack hammer a huge square rigid peg into a God shaped amorphous hole. I become exhausted, frustrated and snotty.

You’ve probably never experienced this, right? (Ahem)

When it comes to ‘Change’, if I can get over myself and allow God to orchestrate it whether He consults with me or not, and face toward it instead of turning away in stark raving terror of not knowing where God is leading then more can happen. When I (finally) get done kicking, screaming and whining what gets accomplished is exceedingly amazing, worthwhile, fulfilling, and better for the world at large than I could have ever imagined, hoped for, or done without Him.  

And I can’t thank Him enough for using whiney, snotty (at times!) me for His purposes.

Dear Lord, help me to understand that just because I don’t see Your end purposes for what You are trying to do in my life and/or the rest of the world doesn’t necessarily mean Change is something to dread.  Please help me (us?) to realize Your New Beginnings have our best interests at heart, even if we never learn what they are. Your will be done, God (and I do mean that) (kinda) (sorta) (okay, I’m trying to mean it!) In Jesus name, Amen! 

Happy New Year, Wonder-full You! I’m believing you, too, have some amazing people, experiences and things waiting for you to receive in the next twelve months. Enjoy!