Encouragement and Humiliation (Which One Do You Prefer?:))

8/31/24

Greeting Mortal Angel!

How’re you doing? 

Are you an encourager? If so, how do you usually try to brighten someone’s heart?

Here’s a quick shout out to a friend who’s beginning to walk again after way too much time in a wheel chair. She needs to build herself up but she’s working on it – yay her!

There! I’ve offered one sincere compliment for the day and can now go back to being snarly and anti-social.  Juuuust kidding. (Maybe – sometime the snarls can be quite clingy.)

We’ll get to the humiliation in a bit –  gotta buffer the ego first.

Had someone displace a moment of insecurity and fear so beautifully recently and I have to ask: Do you think you could do this? Not so sure I could but it was sure appreciated.

Went to a writers conference a few weeks ago and to be honest with ya, almost left on the second day from feeling so overwhelmed and under worthy. 

I was able to attend with the help of a scholarship, and while I was better dressed than usual and did the make-up and hair thing, the vast majority of the attendees were quite a bit more – um – stylish and ‘refined’, shall we say.

But Spirit reminded me: Sometimes we feel the urge to bail right before a breakthrough. 

So glad I listened!

Nancy, a lady I met through an online speaker’s class taken earlier in the year showed up in person, after the self-esteem had abandoned ship.

Frequently throughout the course of the speaker’s class she’d tell me, in a straight forward way, something positive she saw in me and when I’d grin she’d say I had a great smile. She had been so encouraging because she sensed how out of sync I felt with the professional (and professional looking) people in that Zoom class. 

While at the recent conference, as I was debating about leaving, she noticed me and walked right up and so kindly and gently tucked her finger under my chin and raised it up. (Hadn’t even realized I was looking down like that!) My countenance lightened when realizing who it was, then she once again mentioned I had a nice smile. I spent the rest of the day with a much better ‘tude and genuine grin.

Thank you, Nancy!

And while I like to encourage others (when it occurs to me) I don’t know if I could do it like that. Could you? 

Also, was surprised to see that a friend of mine who got married and moved to the opposite side of the country was there too. We were able to have a meal together and get caught up on each other’s lives a bit. Loved that!

Then later in the evening found out something I had written and submitted before the seminar was going to be included in a devotional book. Yay me – I’m going to be published! (Provided I responded correctly to the their edits, that is – hope that was done right!) 

Throughout the rest of the conference I met many good people and was told to submit more of my writing to a couple of publishers to see if I can get a memoir written. Woo-hoo!

So glad I didn’t let those moments of intimidation win.

These last few years have been about s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g and breaking more of the chains that have kept me shackled to the limits of fear and doubt for too many years. Have been so grateful for all the encouragement others have offered and am learning better how to motivate myself more so I don’t have to rely on the kindness (and whimsy) of others to keep me going. 

Someone recently recommended reading a Psalm or two from The Bible when feeling down or confused. The Bible is God’s love letter to us, and the Book of Psalms could be considered the heart of it all. 

The writers were so honest no matter how triumphant or defeated they felt. They managed to hold on to even just a sliver of faith when they were sorely desperate and God always came through for them. Kinda like He does for us if we can hang on, though the victory rarely happens when and in the way we expect!

I’ve also been getting supernatural encouragement via the inner healing work I’ve been intensely working on lately. There’ll more on that in the next post (maybe).

When taking the time to consider it, I can catch glimpses of just a fraction of all God’s done (that I’m aware of). It’s obvious when contemplating all He’s gotten me through (especially the hellish childhood, marriage, accidents, etc.,) and how far I’ve come. I know He’ll continue to sustain me (and you) while pushing forward, including through the humiliating experiences. (Gulp). Or rather, humbling experiences if we can learn, let go, laugh (eventually :)), and keep doing our part. 

Case in point  . . . 

Before I could get my brain wrapped around all that went on at the conference, the most complicated and exciting human trafficking awareness event we’ve organized was at hand. 

I’ll tell ya, I’m so grateful for our group and how well they came together for this. I’m deeply appreciative of all the work everyone put into it AND that no one walked away when the going got tough.  

Was also glad how well my brain, with the CPTSD issues, did hold up for all the stress it’s been under lately even if it ended up not being quite as healed and controllable as I’d hoped. (Arrgh!) 

Up until the day of the event I’d been planning on giving a short talk but then opted out. Later realized fear shouldn’t win so I opted in again. 

It was so funny (in a sad and pathetic sort of way) because I brought two different good prewritten talks. I hadn’t been able to decide which to use, and they were both sitting on the podium. Yet when starting to speak I looked right at them and for whatever reason that’s beyond comprehension now, chose to talk about something else. After the first couple of sentences made the mistake of noticing there were a couple of people taking pictures.

And that’s when the mental curtain closed on any comprehensible verbal expression. (Yikes!)

I do get why most people don’t understand this, especially if they’re not aware of the types of abuses people have survived. So here’s a friendly suggestion: Frequently survivors of child sexually abusive material can be triggered and/or have flashbacks when confronted by a camera/phone. So at these kind of gatherings it’s a good idea to ask someone if they’re okay with having their picture taken before doing it. 

And while I don’t claim it would’ve been a perfectly executed speech had that not happened, I do know once it did I have no idea exactly what all I said, was only aware that no complete sentences were involved. 

How impressive.

But you know what? I’d rather try and fail, learn, try again, than let fear win and keep me down. I’ve got too much to accomplish to stay chained to the threat of humiliation (AGAIN!! :)). The growth is worth the effort, and so am I.

And so are you, if you need the encouragement. When knocked down, go ahead and have an enjoyable brief pity party, pick yourself back up, shake the undeserved shame off, then perhaps talk with a GOOD friend who will positively reinforce you (after they laugh at you :)), and maybe find something to read that’s inspiring for you. Then move imperfectly forward again towards your heart’s dream; God put that hope in there for a reason, you know. 

Anyway, I was so grateful for the friend who understood what happened and was able to help me process some of it. Thank you, ‘K’, for listening with your beautiful heart and not judging. Can only hope you made the others forget what I did when you gave your truly impressive testimony! 

Also so appreciative of the people who took time out of their busy, beautiful Saturday to support the cause, and us, even if only for a short time. I apologize if I didn’t make it clear at the time – it matters, and so do you.

As we were packing up our stuff at the end of the event, the last band was playing “All Fired Up” by Pat Benatar. I’ve used it here before but it’s too good to only use once (or twice!) It was a perfect song for the occasion. (All the bands did a fantastic job.)

Picture at the top of the post is a piece of wisdom someone had written (in chalk) on a bridge support. Love their thinking!