7/26/25
Hello Gifted Person –
How are you doing? Is your life going exactly how you think it should?
I started this post over a week ago (!) and in that time the world has lost some good people. Four of the famous ones are Malcom-Jamal Warner, Hulk Hogan, and the other two who caused some personal sniffles.
Ozzy! Ozzy! I’d been to quite a few rock concerts before some friends and I saw him in 1985, when Metallica opened for him. It was our first ‘head-banger’ and we had a ton of fun that night – and only mild whiplash! :). I always thought Ozzy was a lot more intelligent, funny, and self aware (when sober) then some gave him credit for.
The other sniffle causer is George Kooymans, co-founder and guitarist for Golden Earring. They created my all time favorite song, “Radar Love”; I listen to some version of it at least once a day. When driving I continually radio station hop looking for either that tune, or Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’”. Those are the only times the tuner is guaranteed to stay in one place!
Never did see Golden Earring live. Bummer. But I have heard “Radar Love” played by my favorite local band a few times; grateful they’re smart enough to pick the best song ever to cover, and do it so well.
Rest In Peace and Power to all these gifted artists; they’ve inspired countless others in their lifetimes, and will continue to do so.
So what is one (or more) of the talents/innate gifts you were born with and you’re glad you put the effort into learning?
When someone who knows what they’re doing and loves to do it, you can sense that and their other emotions too, when looking at their art or listening to their music and words. Even if you can’t see the artist/performer’s expressions, their feelings and intent are perceptible.
I love music, guitars especially. When I was taking music lessons frustration was probably what echoed most through anything I (tried to) play. Although there were moments of peace and loving it, and strumming well. It could be such a joy, even if it wasn’t perfect. It’s the same with martial arts and any other class I take.
Several weeks ago I tried a new therapist I really liked, but can’t afford to continue to work with her. One of the reasons I appreciated her was when she talked about Dissociated Identity Disorder (D.I.D.) in such a straight forward manor. The other counselors I’ve worked with always seemed to tiptoe around it, as if they couldn’t clearly define it so they couldn’t teach well on how to deal with it.
Before suggesting a way to heal from D.I.D. she listed some symptoms, asking which ones I’ve experienced. She hit a homer right off the bat when she mentioned talking to myself out loud, and loved her suggestion to get a fake phone earpiece so it would look like I’m talking to someone else. What’s kinda funny is, I don’t care if people know I do that. If talking to myself is the worst thing someone can find to judge me for then I wanna thank them! It must mean they think I’m practically a saint! (Ahem 🙂 )
Other symptoms she inquired about were: Moodiness (yup), anxiety (check), feeling detached from self at times (fer sure), flashbacks (occasionally), self-sabotage (yes). Then she asked: “Do you sometimes ‘get’ what you’re doing and even do it well, then all of a sudden can’t figure it out?”
WHOA! This woman knows me!
What I really appreciated was, she understood it from a survivor’s perspective. Most people trying to teach me something can get so frustrated (with good reason, I suppose) and rarely consider what it’s like to live with the brain reversals – every moment, of every day. Add to that the shame, guilt and pain over the years of being rejected, mocked and/or punished for it. It’s one of the imperfections I try to hide because I can perceive it as humiliating to be inconsistent so – well – consistently at times.
It can compound a victim mentality by creating anger towards self as well as others.
Towards the self because I can’t control it no matter how hard I try, and for all the times was just able to do something and then can’t remember a darn thing about it – repeatedly. Or I should be able to recognize someone and/or remember their name, or know what the conversation I’m in the middle of/talk I’m giving, is about. It certainly shows up in this blog. After an article is posted I’ll catch a title from a previous one and realize the same topic was recently written about. At times they’re similar in content and others seemingly contradictory (yet truthful), depending on which ‘splinter’ of personality was reigning when it was written.
D.I.D. and P.T.S.D. moments can stoke bitterness. It’s hard not to get angry at the perpetrators who created this condition to begin with. There’s also frustration towards the general public and people in my life who, at times, keep expecting me to have a mind that works similar theirs, even when they know.
I’m starting to realize though, there are a few ways to dispel that victim persona and create one of power for survivors. Here are a couple of them:
Why not add other aspects to these conditions that are not included in their descriptions (yet!)? For example, people who have P.T.S.D. and D.I.D. have survived something most can’t even fathom, so add strength, perseverance, and intelligence to the list. Those attributes are needed when figuring out ways to survive, overcome and heal. Empathetic too, since many don’t want others to stay in the same pit they were in so in they find ways to encourage and lift them up. And what about deep faith? People healing from these conditions can grow a faith that’s beyond comprehension to ‘civilians’ because they learn how to rely on their Higher Power when people (self included) don’t know how to be there for them. Add ‘humility’, and ‘humor’, which are cultivated when experiencing symptoms in public and others witness it.
Don’t forget grateful, too! I’m sure others are like me in terms of being appreciative for the people who have been encouraging over the years, even when I couldn’t receive it in the moment; it always makes a difference in the long haul. And for tolerant people who give the benefit of the doubt, allowing me to stretch their patience without angry reactions and repercussions. Also, the mortal angels who keep forgiving because they understand I really am learning to do better. And deep gratitude to God/Jesus, who gets me through it all, and continues to guide and heal through out life when I let Him.
All you good beings also show us how to do the same for others, just by being you!
Another way to crawl out of victim mode is to take a traumatic experience and make a purpose out of it. For me, it’s turning what people meant for evil into good by trying to show others with similar issues they’re not alone and there is hope. Life can be good when we allow ourselves to believe it and put the effort into healing, even before we realize we’re worthy of it. Also, to help those who care about us better understand the complexities and perhaps figure out more ways to facilitate healing.
I can still get discouraged at times though, like lately, for a few reasons including when the hope that grew, then deflated, based on the therapist I thought would help unlock the last of the chains to the past.
But I know setbacks are part of the process and nothing ever goes perfectly to my hope and plan, which is actually a good thing. When choosing faith, I can redirect by acknowledging God’s intentions are ‘omni’ instead of pandering to my self-centered, ‘micro’ thinking. His ways are beyond mortal comprehension and better for all, not just one person’s.
There are times it’s beneficial to step out of the ‘trying/pushing’ mode to rest, reconsider and regroup. Then we can get back up again better prepared to move forward in an increasingly peaceful, joy based way.
This multi-faceted way of defining survivors and our journey is much more realistic, and what we deserve.
Amen. And thank You, God – and mortals! 🙂