Tuesday, May 11, 2021
(For an explanation of who ‘Grace’ is please use the ‘Cast of Characters’ tab on the home page.)
Hola and welcome, so glad you’re here Beautiful Person, inside and out. I hope you, too, can see that about you. (Is it alright to include men as ‘beautiful’? Or should I add ‘handsome’, and can ‘handsome’ describe a man’s heart and spirit also?)
I’ve written a little bit about the ‘Grace’ faction of my psyche in various posts since starting this blog, and then began focusing more on ‘her’ for about a month beginning with the post titled “Reality vs. Fantasy.” dated February 16, 2021.
Had to take a break from writing about that era because of not being able to process in my heart and mind what I was sharing with you and needed to start doing that before continuing. Well, thank God, it’s finally happening, so we’ll be getting back to ‘her’ in the next Tuesday post.
But first, I really need to write about faith.
Two definitions of ‘Faith’ according to Oxford Languages are: 1) complete trust or confidence in someone or something. 2) strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
The Biblical definition is from the book of Hebrews, Chapter 11, verse 1: “Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confidence) of things hoped for (Divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality – faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses.] – Holy Bible, Amplified Bible version. I add to that, “YET”, since a lot of what a person can have faith in are things we believe in spirit +/or our heart and will happen and is manifesting and will appear in a tangible form when the time is right.
I have complete faith in a loving God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, and in the promises that Spirit whispers into my heart, especially if they align with God’s Word, A.K.A. The Bible. I KNOW God loves me (ALL of us) to such a depth I cannot fathom, and in ways that leave me wondering ‘why?’. For example, when I mess up AGAIN with something I should’ve figured out a long time ago and could be more consistent on getting right by now. And I know God/Jesus forgives for whatever I confess and ask it for, but I have to believe I am worthy of and receive His absolution or else it bounces off my spirit and lands in a heap and waits there until I can accept it since God never forces His love and redemption on us.
I have faith that God is not only immeasurable love for you and me, but that He also has (good!) love of all types from various people for us as well as specific gifts, talents and an amazing calling. I know what I am capable of according to what God, Spirit and the Bible has promised, but I have to believe it, too, in my heart, or else all I could receive and do with my life in partnership with Him will lay languishing beside me.
And here’s where the ‘other’ part of this equation comes in to keep me from fully grasping all God has for me, all I could be doing.
Lord knows, I do wish there was a fool-proof, ‘once and for all’ action I could take to heal from everything. I have heard of a few people who have said they were instantaneously healed of whatever physical/mental/emotional/spiritual struggle(s) they had by the Grace of God or whoever their Higher Power is, and I have no reason to doubt them. I just know far more people who go through a much more arduous, ongoing process with their Higher Power.
Which leads me to mention a major roadblock to healing.
If I believe in the love of God, then I also have to believe in His counterpoint, evil. In spite of everything experienced during the first several decades of life, for a few years when I was still in complete denial about all of that I never gave satan a thought, which only gave him the ability to continue to mess in my life unfettered, which is why I’m bringing it up. Don’t know if you’re struggling with changing some aspect of your life and don’t understand why it’s so hard. If so, then maybe that awareness can help you, too.
I also wanted to bring it up as a reminder to myself, to try to drive this point deeper into my own psyche and heart. With starting to process what happened during ‘Grace’s’ era and beginning to write about it again, I need all the help I can get to ride through all it’s bringing up – the memories, negativity, emotional and mental pain, sense of worthlessness, and hate to admit it, self pity, too (yikes!). I’m pretty sure satan is trying to keep me focused on that to the exclusion of anything positive, like gratitude, friends and their love, my ability to love more and more, and other blessings I’m letting in now.
I’m so grateful to my friends, support groups, books read, and spiritual speakers I listen to, like Stephen Furtick, Bishop T.D. Jakes, Joyce Meyer and so many others. They’ve opened my eyes to the wily ways satan uses to try to keep us from believing we have value, are worthy of all the loves God has for us, a fun & beautiful life, and are capable of doing what’s in our hearts to accomplish for good.
With being increasingly more aware of satan’s ways, I can better go against him, and let me tell you, he can be relentless. But I KNOW God is far more powerful, and so I keep praying and listening to Joyce Meyer and the others, paying more attention to the words I speak, and learning how to better defend myself.
I could go on and on about this, but I really don’t like to give evil that much space anymore. It’s already taken up too much time out of my life. I just wanted to give you a heads up, too. God/Higher Power/Jesus and love are so much greater, and better to focus on. Keep reminding me of that, o.k.? I’ll do the same for you.
I chose the song ‘Voices’ by Russ Ballard for two reasons. One is because of something mentioned in a paragraph above, which is, if I want to change the world I experience from negative to positive, then I have to change the way I view it and speak about it. I’ve learned that what I speak deeply influences the trajectory of my life. If I keep saying, in one form or another, that life sucks, I never do anything right, and I never get any good breaks, etc., then that’s what I’ll notice and live like. If I say life is amazing and I know I’m healing and capable of loving well and I have a beautiful life and opportunities, then that is what I’ll notice and take advantage of. And that leads me to the second reason . . .
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but in the picture created on the home page for ‘Pearl, Unchained’ Pearl is holding a key. I believe that we all have the key to our own freedom, it just might take a ton of faith and a few missteps, persistence and diligence to figure out what our key is, time to figure out how to use it, and then even more time, perhaps, to allow what we’ve unlocked to heal and become a positive, strong, habitual pattern in our lives. For me, that key was finding my own voice (which I’m still in the process of doing) and learning how to use it to transform the self-pity, anger and negativity into a loving, faith based power to change myself and encourage others who may be hurting. I’ve loved this song since the first time I heard it many years ago and it’s been edifying me ever since. I hope it inspires you in some way, too.
Voices by Russ Ballard If you could see my mind, if you really look deep, then maybe you'll find That somewhere there will be a place, hidden behind my comedian face You will find somewhere there's a house, and inside that house there's a room Locked in the room in the corner you see A voice is waiting for me, to set it free, I got the key, I got the key Voices, I hear voices In my head the voice is waiting, waiting for me to set it free I locked it inside my imagination, but I'm the one who's got the combination Some people didn't like what the voice did say So I took the voice and I locked it away, I got the key, I got the key Voices, I hear voices, voices, I hear voices Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on Voices, I hear voices, voices, I hear voices Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on Voices, voices, voices, voices - don't look back Voices, voices Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on (Amen ~ Pearl E.M. Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Russell Glyn Ballard Voices lyrics © Union Square Music Songs Ltd., Russell Ballard Ltd.
Meet you back here on Friday!
