Faith Restored & Fun with Angels :)

1/26/24

Hello Mortal Angel!

Do you ever have an experience where you know it can only be of God?

I’d been struggling with a bit o’ depression lately due to not knowing what to believe about, well, what I’ve been believing for.

I know significant changes are about to occur and don’t know ‘what’ exactly. Was doubting ‘how’ for the things I’ve been striving towards for a long time knowing it was time to let go of the illusion I can control all the outcomes and I had to do all the work to achieve them, yet not having faith things would happen without my constant manipulation. I was ‘letting go’ and didn’t yet have faith enough to ‘let God’.

I shoulda known better than to doubt God so much ~ he has shown me repeatedly He can be relied upon completely, in HIS timing and ways. 

Over the last year or so I’ve written a few times about experiences with ‘inner’ or ‘deep level’ healing as well as about Dr. Mark Virkler, who teaches how to do that along with many other courses through Communion With God Ministries (CWG). 

If you sign up with CWG you receive free monthly abbreviated lessons on various topics such as “How to Hear God’s Voice” & the most recent, “49 Lies” which was about some of the  negative things many Christians can believe and what the actual, more faith based and positive truth is about each of them.

‘Deep level’ or ‘inner’ healing is a Holy Spirit led procedure for curing trauma issues. I’ve experienced and written about it a few times. Usually God showed me how much He loved me through various images, persistently filling an inner chasm of disbelief that was created by the sex trafficking and various other abuses experienced from childhood and marriage. 

As with any mental/heart/emotional healing work, we have to get really honest with ourselves and be vulnerable, as well as have a measure of trust in the person we’re working with in order to receive the most benefit.

After listening to Dr. Virkler through so many of the classes over the last year or so, I began to feel he was trustworthy and have wanted to work with him for a long time but didn’t have the gumption to ask. I figured he was too busy with more important things to do. He also lives over a thousand miles away and I couldn’t afford the trip to meet at his office.

So I knew it was a God moment when, while taking a CWG online course – “Prayers That Heal the Heart” – and posting comments to the class’s message board, Dr. Virkler responded to a question and offered an inner healing Zoom session. 

Hallelujah! No need ask me twice about THAT! And even more surprisingly, he agreed it’d be a good thing to have a couple of trusted friends here for support AND everyone was able to quickly agree on a meeting time that would take place within a few days!!   

Yay God!

I became so nervous about participating and was doubting I did enough of the prep work, doubted it would work well over ‘Zoom’, and was concerned I wouldn’t be able to relax enough to let the Spirit of healing flow easily.

It’s so funny what finished building the bridge of trust to Dr. Virkler: Within the first several minutes of talking with him he was so forthright and he used the word ‘crap’ a couple of times ~ now that I can relate to! 🙂 And my friends knew of him and believed along with me in his abilities to let God work through him, and all of us.

So I was able to easily bring up one of the most painful, abasing and horrifying memories of the child sexually abusive material I was forced to participate in. The memory was (gently) attacked and healed and the ungodly spirit that came with those experiences was conquered. 

What really helped was Dr. Virkler’s ability to remain patient, kind, and calm with a softly authoritative voice that wasn’t intimidating. He was able to keep me focused on Jesus and the healing process instead of dwelling in the trauma. As soon as any tears or shame would inject their self, he would immediately direct the heart and mind to refocus on our Redeemer.

The session only lasted an hour yet so much was healed, talked about and directions given on how to keep the healing growing deeper. I’d never remember all that happened and am so very grateful my friends were taking notes the whole time in order to reflect on them afterward and to be reminded as often as needed later on. 

He also gave a 30 day challenge to make the sure the healing ‘sticks’. Anytime my mind starts to wander back to those memories I am to immediately redirect it to the Light and loving power of Jesus, which is far greater than evil and what it tries to do to and convince us of.

I’m also to ‘journal with Jesus’ daily and perform the healing sessions myself as memories arise. I’ve done a couple more since then. 

Also, just being able to trust him and the people who were here as much as I did was quite the breakthrough, too; to realize my friends do care about my healing and were so quick to make the time to support me like that was such a blessing.

Those walls of distrust and fear are atumblin’ down. 

Thank You God! And Dr. Virkler, and ’E’, and ‘M’, and Pearl!

And so much gratitude once again to the people who, over time, have been proving trust and love really can be positive, and healing.

The several days since then have been so different than the ones leading up to it. I’ve had so much more energy and ability focus, and have been accomplishing more than the previous month or two. 

I still go toe to toe with the negativity and probably will for a while, and I’m learning to better negate it, faster. 

At the end of the session I mentioned how much I appreciated something Dr. Virkler said in one of his free online classes. He told of how one night he was concerned because his wife was late getting home and he was expecting the worst. He realized he had the choice to think of something other than a car accident, and instead saw angels playing on the hood of his wife’s car while they were keeping her safe.

So he offered to give me a similar image by having me close my eyes to imagine where my guardian angels are and what they’re doing. 

At first they were forming two lines, one on either side of me. They’re much taller, and had raised their hands and both sides reached over my head to grab the other side’s hands so they formed like a peaked, protective tunnel over and around me. It was a beautiful tunnel of light and angels. Then they started celebrating my healing and were dancing around, and I was with them; one was holding my hand over my head and twirling me around. So my friend, E., grabbed my hand and she led me into the same dance. It was so FUN and funny; we were both laughing. 

A couple nights later I had a dream where I was staying in a nice hotel. Initially there was a woman about my age also there, and she was hard for me to deal with. There were things she wanted to do but kept expecting someone else to do them for her. She left and a younger lady took over her room. She was a very positive person. We hit it off immediately and became instant friends. I told her about the woman that had been there before her.

The lady then asked me if I wanted to accompany her when she checked on her parents house; they were away for a few days and she was keeping eye on it.

It was a  house and she had to do something in the master bedroom. It was a nice size and so very well decorated and organized. There was a good size fireplace made out of natural stone along one wall, and large windows with the curtains closed on another. She told me peek behind the curtains.

When I pulled one back it was apparent we were on a second story of the house and I was looking out over the most eden-esque back yard. It was a beautiful forest where all the flora and fauna and their colors were in sharp focus and everything had a bright silvery glint to it.

As I was gazing in awe I had the sense God was telling me, ‘this is yours, Pearl’. 

I immediately woke up and remembered everything so vividly. 

The thoughts about it that have been rising up are: The first lady was who I was, the second is who I am becoming. We were in a hotel which signifies a temporary transition, and then we were in the second story of the house, which symbolized I was stepping into the permanent, second ‘story’ or season of my life and it’s amazing. 

I was in the master bedroom which signifies I have become master of my thoughts and life by relying on the light of God (the fireplace) instead of letting life happen to me. The room was organized and so tidy which meant the ‘splintering’ of my brain and heart caused by all the various traumas they were hiding and protecting me from were now integrating and becoming whole so my thoughts and feelings are becoming organized too. And it was a room for a husband and wife so I have that to look forward to (I think!)  

And the best part about this dream is, nothing has to change to see and live in all the love and beauty the it predicted. It’s already here if I choose to recognize that and can take it all in instead of blocking it by constantly worrying about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g else.

Woo-hoo!

I needed the image of angels a couple days ago when I was at a park and saw someone in a car I thought I knew. I waved then started obsessing about how I waved! 

(Sheesh!)

The asinine musings of ‘I didn’t move the fingers and it probably looked like the gesture for ‘halt’ so they probably thought I was dissing them’ and blah blah blah. 

It took a while before it occurred to me to ‘redirect’ the focus. Now I can imagine how hard my angels were laughing at the stupidity of that thought process and I can’t help but laugh with them.

I dare you to try any or all of this for yourself! 🙂 Here’s the link to Communion with God Ministries https://www.cwgministries.org ,  and this is the link to a lesson on how to perform deep level healing  https://www.cwgministries.org/blogs/inner-healing-prayer-heals-painful-scenes-your-heart-and-mind

Remind yourself if your mind wanders off into some pointless territory to close your eyes and look to see what your angels are doing. You’ll be grateful you did!

Today’s song has been running through my mind since the healing session and it wasn’t until today I figured out ‘why’! (Doh) Here’s “The Hurt and The Healer” by Mercy Me,. It’s a great tune about what God can do for us when we ask Him, and can then let Him. Sometimes there a lag time between the two and it is so worth the wait – and so are you (and I :)). So DON’T GIVE UP IF THERE’S AN INTERIM, okay???

Also – I just found this video of the song and it is so appropriate for the post. It’s a mini movie that could cause triggers for some, and it is such a perfect depiction of what Jesus did to save us, and how He does continues to do that everyday for everyone if we will let ourselves feel His presence.

Thank You, Jesus.