Frankenstein, Talents, Villages, And Healing

6/10/24

Good Day Gifted Person ~

What talent comes easier to you than others? Are there areas where you think you could be gifted in if you would let yourself do what it takes to improve? 

I’ve known people (and I may not be the exception here :)) who think they’re talented in a certain area, or even just want to explore a new hobby but when they try it, if they can’t master it within first several times they practice then they give up. They (we) won’t take the time to enjoy the process of learning and gaining a sense of accomplishment.

I watched a fantastic guitarist play a cover of “Frankenstein” by The Edgar Winter Group the other day. 

It was a WOW moment!

I already love the song – it’s fun and my ears can’t not smile whenever they hear it. And a tune can be so much better when it’s played live, and more so when we appreciate who’s playing it. 

What was even more impressive was the song was originally composed for a keyboard as the ‘starring’ player, and this musician adapted it for his guitar so well! 

It took perseverance and an ability to look at a song that he must’ve loved and re-imagine how it could be played differently, so he could perform it utilizing his strongest gift to present it in his best possible way, for our enjoyment. 

It takes heart, m-a-n-y hours and years of practice, perseverance, and an ability to think outside the box to accomplish that, don’t ya think? 

When it comes to bands, have you ever considered what they do? Several people, each with a different forte, merge and make amazing music because they agree to work towards a common goal. The better bands want all the players to shine. 

I used to reside on the opposite end of that spectrum; my credo was, “I don’t need anyone God, I just need You”. I was bitter and angry at people in general and rarely had the wherewithal to encourage or compliment anyone. 

I still believe God needs to be number one in my life in order to be and do the best I can, but my credo has changed to: “It takes a village”. 

So often now-a-days, people standing with me help to keep my brain from going and/or staying under, or they save my tushie AGAIN, or help to make a finished project so much better, and they can make any of these processes fun!

AND because of them I’m learning to reciprocate kindness towards them and others, too. Hallelujah and Yay me! 🙂

I’m so grateful to the different ‘bands’ of people I spend time with. 

There’s the ‘Pearl, Unchained’ group who I’m so grateful to call friends. We each have different strengths and share a common goal of spreading awareness, and bringing an end to, human trafficking. The work we do together and the programs we put on are so much more interesting and multi-faceted than they would be if it was just one individual’s vision, or if we all had similar talents. 

I have an amazing, nonjudgemental, Bible study group who not only tolerates but actually encourages my (and others’) searching questions and differing perspectives! And we support each other through anything when we ask for it.

Then this past week or two week, some members of my church band have been an answer to prayer they didn’t even know about. (More about that after a few paragraphs.)

Individuals have been such blessings too, of course. 

For example, there’s that great guy who, whenever I notice him, inspires me to ‘stay the course’ when I’m running low on the wherewithal to keep trodding down this path of healing. And the friend with whom I’ve had a rocky relationship with over the years recently agreeing to work on making it a bit smoother. Gratefully, so far she (and I!) seem to be willing to move a bit out of our malfunctioning comfort zone to achieve a healthier, less defensive friendship. 

I would be missing out on all of these amazing relationships if it wasn’t for the therapist who planted the seed of: “If you’ve been wounded in relationships then you have to heal through (healthier) relationships”. 

I kept telling him I didn’t need other humans; I was going to live a good life as a hermit with lots of pets, a good stereo system, and a hot tub :)) 

I’m so very glad there must’ve been a prayer in my heart God heard long before I did that allowed Him to find ways of nurturing those seeds so they’d take root and grow slowly, abundantly and beautifully, if imperfectly. 

Not that long ago I wrote about giving up on ever being healed enough to experience all the different types of love that so many other people can take for granted. I was learning, for the most part, to be at peace with that because in the end God knows what’s best and I’d rather have that then a relationship that’s subpar due to limitations. 

Nor could I figure out what else to do to partner with Jesus in pursuing deeper healing in order to break through the various walls, veils, masks and fears that have kept me from fully engaging in life and love. 

But then God, in His infinite wisdom and Grace, opened up a door that was closed several months ago that’s now allowing me to return to a ‘Prayers That Heal The Heart’ course; this time with the mentor I initially wanted but was unavailable. 

And with no ill will towards the person I was working with before, I’m so glad the door closed the first time. This coach is a much better fit.

The issues we’re healing are abandonment, bitterness and self-condemnation.

When ‘journaling with Jesus’ a few days ago the awful realization arose that the person I had yet to forgive for abandoning me was myself. 

I had repeatedly done that when, as a child initially, I would allow myself to be duped into believing abusers who would say to me, in a demeaning way, I wouldn’t be hurt. (“Oh don’t be such a baby (or stupid or a wimp); nothing will happen this time!”).  

In desperation for any type of love I’d choose to ignore all the warning bells going off in my heart in order to spend time with the person/people who would, of course, hurt, humiliate, abase and/or annihilate me again.

And that behavior carried on into adulthood when I’d choose to spend time with the family, (now ex, thank God) husband and ‘faux friends’ who treated me like crap when I wasn’t doing/being/looking exactly as how they each thought I should. 

That young child aspect of my psyche who got stuck at her point of pain/trauma never grew up and never integrated with the rest of me because she’s still perceiving the adult version as not being worthy of trust. She still sees me as the person who keeps abandoning her safety and security by going into abusive situations without listening to or trying to protect her. 

I totally understood ‘Little Pearl’s’ perspective, felt the condemnation that came with it and couldn’t figure out how to atone for what I did to my younger self. 

Then God intervened when I asked how I could ever be anything other than what Little Pearl thought of me.

He began to remind to me of what I wrote about the ‘bands and individuals’ above. 

Today He showed me how many situations that weren’t good for me that I’ve walked away from or avoided over the last few years, several of which are . . .

Leaving behind the family who never acknowledged nor cared about what they did to me. Ending friendships that for all intents and purposes looked good on the surface but were really just long term acquaintances where I was only as good as how much I’d let myself be controlled by them and/or was giving for their benefit. (And to be fair here, I was never perfect either, and was receiving some benefit from some of them, too; just not enough to compensate for ignoring my life’s purpose for their dreams and/or comfort.)

I haven’t engaged in any romantic relationships because I knew I wasn’t able to give a good man what he deserved.

I even left a church that in so many ways seemed so perfect for me; I let a few of the people chase me out of it, and gratefully, into the one I’ve been attending ever since. And even though it’s been quite the healing place these last few years, for a while now I’ve been wondering if I’m supposed to stay there.

Then these last couple of weeks happened . . .

So many people, the pastors as well as quite a few congregants, have unwittingly and independently of each other been picking me back up. 

Some have told me they care or are proud of me, others have tried to convince me I’m golden or why they appreciate me when I’ve inadvertently said something that must’ve shown I haven’t been feeling so good about myself. Another friend even corrects what are apparently condemning self appraisals when I thought I was just being honest. 

And are you ready for this? Several members who are older than ME (gasp!) have mentioned how much they liked an article I wrote recently for the church paper about Ronnie James Dio. (It was used as a post on 5/18/24 ~ “What Do You See?”)

Sometimes, like many people I suppose, there are days when I feel like a Frankenstein monster who hasn’t, or doesn’t yet know how to, offer much that’s positive.

But God keeps showing me with His own timely reminders, and through the truly caring bands of people I’ve surrounded myself with, that’s just not true. (And I’m gonna make darn sure Little Pearl hears about this ~ as often as necessary! :))

And you know what? He’ll do the same for you when you ask (and frequently even when you don’t)!  It may not be obvious to you initially, but if you listen to your heart and/or even just begin wondering if it’s possible, He’ll start reminding you of all the times He’s told you just how special you are to Him. 

If you think you might benefit from some healing, I hope whatever I write about inspires you to try it, or to look for ways to adapt it, or search for other methods that’ll best fit your innate, unique and beautiful self, gifts and ways. 

Please don’t be discouraged if/when you do try (or if you’re already on your own restorative journey and could use the reminder) and great restoration isn’t quickly attained. What takes longer to accomplish grows deeper, better prepares us for all that is good, and lasts so much longer than ‘surface’ healing. And let’s face it, that’s what you (we!) deserve!

Amen!

Of course, today’s song has to be “Frankenstein” by Edgar Winter. It’s not its first appearance in this blog (and may not be the last!). I hope your ears grin for a bit, too 🙂