Learning to be a Light

4/7/23

Hi Good Person – 

How’s your week going? 

Couldn’t decide what to write about; the Human Trafficking Awareness Event (HTAE) we put on last weekend, or that I just learned what ‘trauma by proxy’ was due to experiencing it when there was a car accident with fatalities in front of my abode. 

(By the way, ‘trauma by proxy’ is when a person witnesses something and it adversely effects them even though they were not directly involved.)

Still processing both of those, I guess, and when I try to write about either it’s incomprehensible. For now I’ll just say, the HTAE went fairly well, and I’ve (mostly) quit crying about the accident. So grateful to the wise friends who understood (before I did) why I was so upset and they weren’t judgmental about it. As they prayed for the victims and survivors of the accident, of their own volition they prayed for me, too. Then today my therapist helped me to understand and begin to work through it. 

On the upside, a major breakthrough is evident because I haven’t dissociated my way out of these intense emotions; my brain is letting me feel and work through them and that’s a huge step forward.

And because I’m not freaked out enough, it’s about 12:30 a.m. and there are two police cars with their red and blue lights on, one each blocking the road on either side of the stretch of road in front this place. They’re walking around with flashlights. Please tell me it’s really nothing? 

So in lieu of trying to keep writing something that makes sense, I’m posting something written for another group of good people, kind of an Easter prayer with a short personal explanation of what the prayer is about preceding it. 

And if you celebrate any of the Holy Days during this time, I hope you have a wonderful celebration. And if you don’t, I hope you have a wonderful week.

On to the prayer . . .

O.k., let’s be real.  Some of you must have me figured out by now so you know a ‘pre-holiday’  submission probably won’t be quite what you were expecting.

So here we go . . . 

Some of us understand in an incomprehensible way the unfathomable love that was poured out for us imperfect mortals a couple thousand years ago, and we are so very grateful, humbled, and appreciative to a degree that is impossible to put into words.  

But not everybody who understands can rejoice over it right now.  

We may comprehend that the Light overcame darkness when our Savior rose from the dead to bring us eternal life, but some people’s hearts may still be entombed in grief, depression, oppression, or any other emotionally numbing place that keeps them from experiencing the joy the rest of the Christian world seems to be celebrating.  

And that’s o.k., because so frequently it’s those that could only experience the dark even on the supposedly most joy filled days who will eventually be able to empathetically comfort, sympathetically sit in the darkness with, and bring the muted promise of love, joy and resurrection to others when their grief keeps them too buried to see the Light. It’s the people who had the courage to sit in their own shadows with their eyes (and heart) open to truth and healing who can help lead others out of their own pit. 

Thank You, Jesus our Savior, for what You did for all of us out of pure love, humility, power and obedience in spite of Your own fears and pain.  Thank You, Holy Spirit, that You see into our hearts and are conveying all the heartfelt but verbally inexpressible feelings of sincere awe and genuine desire to continually grow deeper into the love, mystery, and freedom that Jesus so selflessly died to give us, even when we can’t experience and live it out loud yet.  And praise, honor and glory to  You, God, that You can always (if we let You) redeem one person’s pain in order for them to help lead other wounded souls towards Your healing love and Light.  

In Jesus anem, AMEN!

An appropriate song for this is “The Light” by Disturbed.  (Please, give it a try in spite of the band name!:))

Like an unsung melody
The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It's not a blight, but a remedy
A clear reminder of how it began
Deep inside your memory
Turned away as you struggled to find it
You heard the call as you walked away
A voice of calm from within the silence
And for what seemed an eternity
You're waiting, hoping it would call out again
You heard the shadow reckoning
Then your fears seemed to keep you blinded
You held your guard as you walked away

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

An unforgivable tragedy
The answer isn't' where you think you'd find it
Prepare yourself for the reckoning
For when your world seems to crumble again
Don't be afraid, don't turn away
You're the one who can redefine it
Don't let hope become a memory
Let the shadow permeate your mind and
Reveal the thoughts that were tucked away
So that the door can be opened again
Within your darkest memories
Lies the answer if you dare to find it
Don't let hope become a memory

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

Sickening, weakening
Don't let another somber pariah consume your soul
You need strengthening, toughening
It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you
Ignite the fire within you

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

Don't ignore, listen to me now (all is not forsaken)
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness
Can show you the light
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dan Donegan / David Draiman / Kevin Churko / Mike Wengren
The Light lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc