Redeemed!

7/5/22

(Photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash)

Howdy Delightful You,

How is your day going?

Was there anything over the last few days that brought you a spark of delight?  Are you able to keep that moment to remember when things aren’t going well?

I’ll be honest (as usual), that’s something I can learn to do better.  I might journal about the good times but then quickly forget and go back to worrying/obsessing about something else.

But the person I’m gonna write about today is someone who’s never been forgotten, and who always lights that spark of delight and puts a smile in my heart. 

My great Uncle Norm was born on this day (July 5) in 1907, so he’d be 115 years old if he was still around (and in my heart, he is).

Uncle Norm was born with regular brain function but due to a high fever at the age of 8, he ended up mentally challenged.  

To tell the truth, I didn’t appreciate him as much as he deserved during childhood.  I would try to converse with him but his speech was impaired so I couldn’t understand what he said.  I was always asking “WHAT?”, then would give up and walk away.

He was high functioning so he got around pretty well for not being able to drive, and he liked to go the bar to play pool with others.  I don’t think he drank much though.

What I loved about him was his guilelessness.  He didn’t have an easy life yet he was the most open, kindest person I knew.  He had good humor, too.  He would talk about how he remembered when his brain was fully functioning, but he wasn’t all that upset about what happened because once he could no longer do his school work as easily as he had been able to, the pretty girls would help him.  He’d say that with a glint in his eyes and a sweet smile.

As I grew into adulthood and really saw who he was, love for him kept growing.  I could love him as much as I wanted without regret, and I’ll always be grateful for that, and him.

It would really piss me off when others, including those I thought should know better,  would treat him like a second class citizen.  My grandfather was perpetually impatient and angry with him, belittling him as if he blamed my uncle for ‘choosing’ to be less intelligent than he was.  

And so many others just couldn’t be bothered to treat him like he deserved.  So, I’d try to make it up to him.   For his birthday I’d bring him a decent collection of presents (and a beer :)) and he’d always figure out what the presents were before opening them :).  When I gave him a helium balloon one year he thought that it should be for children and didn’t want to accept it.  He did the same with a dried flower arrangement one of my sisters made for him – he thought it was too ‘girly’ and gave it to me.  I cherished that thing until it essentially disintegrated.

He lived with my grandparents for most of his life, until they could no longer take care of him.  

When he was initially put into assisted living, after an adjustment period he did well.  But after several years he was moved to a different area, and I’m sure he was being abused there.

He perpetually had bruises on his legs and other parts of his body but worse was, he lost the sparkle in his eyes, and it kept getting harder to bring it back.  He became increasingly angry yet quiet and shut down, and would never smile anymore.  I tried to tell his legal guardian (my mother) about the concerns but she just didn’t want to hear about it.  It broke my heart that nothing was ever done to protect him.

When I became engaged to the (now ex – thank You, God!) husband, I told Uncle Norm he was going to be at the wedding.  He became excited and said he looked forward to being there.  I loved that he had that sparkle in his eyes and small grin on his face.

Unfortunately, my mother’s reaction to the invite was an immediate:  “Don’t be stupid!  Who’s going to want to take the time to go pick him up and take him back after the reception?”

I angrily replied “I will!”  but then . . . didn’t.  I let those twenty-five words talk me out of it, and was too much a coward to tell Uncle Norm there’d been a change in plans.  I figured (hoped) he wouldn’t remember.

When we got back home from the honeymoon my Uncle was in the hospital, in a coma, and he never came out of it.  I went to see him as often as I could after work and on the week-ends to read to him, massage his scalp, or tend to him in other ways.

A couple of weeks after the honeymoon I woke up in the middle of the night and started sobbing with no idea ‘why’.  I cried for an hour or two, walking around the house hoping to not wake up the spouse.

I wondered if it had something to do with Uncle Norm but was sure someone would have called since they knew how much I loved the guy.  So before going to work that day I went to the hospital to visit him, and the nurse said he had died.

No one from the hospital bothered to let ‘next of kin’ know he’d passed away.

I know many don’t believe in this kind of stuff but because of what happened here, (and at other times), I do.  I believe Uncle Norm, on a spiritual level, let me know when he died and that’s why I woke up in the middle of the night crying.

Anyway, I have never been able to let go of the guilt for not having Uncle Norm at the wedding.  I knew God forgave me when it occurred to me to ask for it, and figured Uncle Norm did since he must have ‘visited’ in some capacity when he died, but I couldn’t let it go.

So this morning, while wishing Uncle Norm “Happy Birthday”, I was also (still) beating myself up and asking God how I could forgive me.

Then something happened that I can only consider as a ‘God Opportunity For Redemption’.

Decided to go to a park that’s closer than the usual one I go to, and wasn’t sure why since I planned to go to the favored one farther away.  While driving there, there were two small buses in front of me.  I’d seen them at this park before and knew there were special needs adults on them excited to be going on this outing.  

But the road to the park was closed.  The buses were initially going to turn down it, but drove to a parking lot further up the way.  I pulled in too, and drove up to one of the driver’s windows.  Asked her if they were going to the park and she said ‘no, not now’.  I told her there was a different route to the park and would be glad to lead them there if they still wanted to go, and they agreed!  Was concerned the different route would be shut down, too, and that I wouldn’t remember the right road to take, etc., but did manage to get them there! 

May not have gotten Uncle Norm to where he wanted to go ‘back when’ but was able to make up for it by getting 15-20 adults to their special outing.

Thank You Lord, I can forgive me now.  Woo-hoo and Hallelujah!!!