4/19/24
Hola Honored One ~
Here’s a devotional I wrote for another purpose – can you identify with it?
“The Lord Himself goes before you & will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged” ~ The Bible, Book of Deuteronomy, Chap. 31, v 8.
Have you ever dealt with someone who thought they knew what you were going to say so they didn’t really pay attention, or they’ll assume they know what you wrote in a note so they never actually read it and your questions in the messages go unanswered?
Not to brag (ahem) but I’ve done that sometimes and actually, I can completely misunderstand what someone is saying when we’re face to face and I’m paying attention! So, I’ve learned to ask as many questions as needed to make sure to comprehend correctly what was meant (which can really irritate some people!). (Eh – if it’s that easy to tick them off, then it’s fun to rile them up!:)).
Several years ago I was trying to hire a band for a public event. ‘J’ gave me their price and I thought it was too low – I know what goes into what they do and couldn’t imagine they were making any money at that rate. So, since I could afford it at the time, I was trying to convince him to ask for a higher fee but he was so sure I was trying to talk him down that he wouldn’t listen and was taking offense instead.
Decided to let it go and would surprise them with a 50% bump when they were paid at the time of the event but because of covid it was cancelled. I mailed them some gift cards to compensate for the cancellation and to try to show, most people are not out to grab all they can get without any concern for others.
(It’s funny, because the people I am blessed to be working with now are planning a similar, fun event called “don’t just survive, THRIVE!”. Our co-facilitator insists we get everyone to donate their time so all money raised will go towards human trafficking awareness and helping to offset the costs of a survivor turning their life around. So, even though I’m cringing inwardly and secretly considering compensating out of my own pocket those who perform or put much effort into helping us, people are actually agreeing to help at no cost! It’s amazing, and humbling! (Hmmmmm . . . maybe I need to learn not everyone is out for just their self! :))( . . . and, I still kinda wanna compensate them in some way . . . shhh, don’t tell co-facilitator I admitted that ;))
There have been a few times when someone would offer to help or what I perceive as reaching out in care, and when I’m (finally) able to believe in what I saw/heard and that they’re sincere, I’d respond but then all I see is their tushie hightailing away. Or, if I don’t respond to their overtures to their exact specifications but am doing the best I can and improving as I heal (and apologizing in the interim) then my imperfect response is their excuse to reject me. Then they can’t figure out why I’d be wary after their reaction and we end up having to re-establish trust again.
I’m learning, so frequently we can per-see-ve God differently at various junctures, depending on how we’ve been treated by others in similar situations. We can consider His acceptance, help, or ability to listen as on a par with mortals and/or ourselves and therefore, doubt Him and HIs genuine willingness to understand or aid us, and question His perfect love and intentions (especially after we screw up, AGAIN!).
He saves my hiney so frequently, like He did again today when I left my phone on the hood of the car, drove off then found it exactly where I left it – balancing on the hood after taking it for a several mile ride! (oops!)
Even after that I can still assume He’s holding my imperfections against me! I’ll think He’s angry when I don’t respond exactly like I imagine He would want me to, and/or nastily laughing at my vulnerability or attempts to show I care &/or in how I’m imperfectly moving forward and trying new and wonderful things (and frequently failing – which can be fun, too!:)). Or I’ll think He’s not listening to me when pouring my heart out to Him or seeking His counsel for the same thing for the 99th time.
Therefore, I’m less likely to listen for and notice His loving, still, quiet voice guiding and encouraging me as He does respond, and when He tells me how he appreciates me for who I am – and He feels the exact same way about you, too!
Dear Holy Omni-everything-including-&-especially-LOVE Abba,
Thank You for being a Being so far beyond our comprehension that we have difficulty imagining the love and care You genuinely have for us. Thank You for being so YOU that Who You are is immutable and eternal and Your promises unbreakable.
Thank You for Your bottomless well of patience when we choose to learn with only a fraction of our intention, grow our faith imperfectly, as we surrender only part time, and TRY to accept Your ways without having to know Your ‘hows, whys and ‘whens’.
You ARE amazing, Grace! Thank You! Amen and AMEN!
