Tuesday, 4/20/21
Hello, welcome! How are you doing today, Good Person? Have you had any moments of joy lately? I hope so.
Do you have any sheroes or heroes in your life? (I heard Wynona Judd refer to the females who inspired her as ‘sheroes’. Don’t know if she created that word, but I do love it. Have you heard it before?)
I have some of both, heroes and sheroes, and lately I’ve added several more to my list.
A friend of mine, C., and I co-facilitate a support group for teen girl survivors of sexual abuse. I cannot begin to tell you how much respect and love we both have for these young ladies. We’ve had the honor of hearing their stories and are amazed at their strength and powerful vulnerability as they face not only their pain and anger as they heal, but also their perpetrators when they can prosecute.
One of our girls, M., had a major break through this past week, and for a 16 year old that can be quite overwhelming initially (for any-aged person, actually). She couldn’t see how the pain she was dealing with could possibly be a good thing. She tearfully listened when someone she trusts respectfully told her about how some of her pain based actions were effecting others. And instead of running away from it, or blaming the person who told her, or shutting down and denying it, M. accepted the truth with grief, remorse and a vow to change. I don’t know if she could ‘receive’ what we told her about how so many people (including me, at times), don’t yet (if ever) have the ability, courage or humility to listen like she did and are willing to atone, learn new behaviors, and do better next time. She’s amazing, (as are all the others, and you, for that matter) and I hope she (and you) understands that on some level.
The strong and beautiful-at-heart teens that come to our group (and so many other girls) are courageous and humble enough take advantage of some resources and are learning how to break the generational cycles of abuse. (I’m not so sure I could’ve made that choice at their age if the opportunity presented itself.) They’re paving the way for future generations of their own families to have more loving, healthy, relationships. And a better world, really, when you think of all the people they (and their children) will be touching with their healing selves. I pray for the millions of other survivors around the world who haven’t yet realized there is hope, help, &/or haven’t yet recognized that they are so very worthy of doing all it takes to do the work to become whole.
C. and I have discussed how when we were young there weren’t many people or places to go to for help, and what there was we weren’t aware of because no one ever talked about the abuse, let alone resources back then. I give accolades to people like Malala Yousafzai, a teenage girl from Pakistan who spoke out against the Taliban (Her autobiography is “I AM MALALA”), & Joyce Meyer, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Dave Pelzer (“A Boy Called It”) and so many others who had the courage and wisdom to speak up and out when child abuse was rarely talked about. Because of all these people there is now more acceptance and respect for survivors and their truths, more opportunities and diverse modalities for healing, and a much, much, better chance of survivors being heard and having recourse and justice served.
C. is a good example of how one person’s decision to take responsibility for their recovery can touch and help heal so many others. She, too, didn’t know where to turn for help when she was a child. She was blessed with a couple of people in her younger years that affirmed her value, and later, several years after living a messy life and an abusive first marriage was able to recognize a good man and married him. She turned to God and therapists when she was pregnant with her oldest child to learn how to do things differently for her offspring and relationships. She uncovered a passion to help others find the freedom she’s been attaining over the years, and that’s how I met her. She was facilitating a support group for adult women survivors. All of us ended up bonding well and we still keep in touch and love and support each other.
While in her forties C began taking classes to become a Christian counselor and has doable plans and dreams to give hope to many others. I don’t know how many people she’s already helped between her support groups, counseling, talks and kindness, and I can only imagine how many more she will inspire. Just one person, C. (with lots of support and help, but she’s the one who started all this and keeps it going) is touching so many lives for the better. When factoring in all the connections of the people she’s helped, you can see how one person’s decision to heal and live in love instead of anger and pain can effect countless others for generations to come. I’m so blessed to have her and a few other healing sheroes and heroes to help me find my own path to liberation from the past, as well as to learn how to receive and give love while discovering my own gifts to minister to others. These ladies are for me that C. and I (and several other people) are for M.. We’re here to pour unconditional love and acceptance into her until she can do the same for herself. I pray you have that, too, if you need it. God/Jesus has been doing that for me (and always will) until I could allow mortals to help with the process. So grateful I finally let that happen, and so very grateful to be able to do this for M. and the other girls now, and hopefully many more as time goes on.
Thank You, God, for loving me no matter what, and leading me down this path and opening my eyes (and heart) to these sheroes. I know You do the same for everyone who allows You to.
I was telling my blog Guru, Kristina, about needing a song for this post. She mentioned a song by Jason Mraz called “I Won’t Give Up” and I’m so glad she did, it’s perfect! I do understand it could be a beautiful romantic love song, but we came up with several other possibilities, too. Kris thought it could also be about a person looking in a mirror and promising her/himself that they won’t give on their self. It could also be about friends/mentors vowing to be there for another, as well as God telling a person who is going through challenges that He will ‘never leave nor forsake them’. What do you think is it’s meaning?
When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
Well, I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
‘Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up
I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I’m not
And who I am
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
I’m still looking up
Well, I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up)
God knows I’m tough (I am tough) he knows (I am loved)
We got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved)
God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)
I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
