2/17/24
Hello Be-loved of God!
How has your week been?
Do you have certain days, holidays, or anniversaries of something unpleasant that don’t seem to become easier to tolerate, even over time? With God’s help I’ve been figuring out how to change my attitude about those days, Hallelujah! Maybe it’ll help you, too.
I’ve dreaded Valentine’s and other ‘romantic’ days of observance. And as much fun (ahem) as it’s been to essentially eat my way through the impending reminder of the state of my heart, this year God had other plans and I never even realized what He was doing until, well, now, several days after! (Yay God!)
And no, it had nothing to do with delivering the man of my dreams to my doorstep. God, (‘The Being of My Healing’) kept me busy showing me that I am participating in various types of love, and He’s freeing me to be able to love in ever increasing ways.
It began with doing anonymous random acts of blessings. (I do them occasionally, and at times, they’re not so random.)
What’s cool is, this time there was a blessing that I could claim!
Someone left a couple of items on one of the park benches I leave stuff on. There was a cross they created out of balsa wood, and a homemade key ring resting on top of it. It was made with a penny; I’m assuming it’s “In God We Trust” is the message with that. Found a similar ring a couple of years ago on the same bench and I’ve been using it ever since. (Picture above is of these items.)
Ooooo – after thinking this post was finished I just thought of another way the keyring and cross could be perceived. Not saying it’s what the person who made it meant, but I’m a liking this!
The picture on my blog is Pearl (A.K.A., child me – only not an actual picture of wee me. :)) opening up the proverbial shell of fear, mistrust, pain and anger she was trapped in for most of life with a key it took her a while find. Turns out, she’d had it all along (as have you): The key (represented by the keyring) is having enough faith and trust in God (the penny), Jesus (the Cross) and herself to be freed, redeemed, and to heal.
Reeeeally liking this – I think I’ll keep this perspective. Even if it wasn’t what was intended by the creator of the gift, I’m pretty sure it was what was intended by my Creator – God.
It’s funny because the gift-er had written on the back of the cross “Good Luck In Life”. First thought when I initially read it was: Well this is a kind kiss-off . . .
Hmmm . . . Ah well, I nabbed both items anyway. Now I’m so glad I did – they’re cherished so much more with that new God interpretation; will have to make sure they stay together and be easily seen in order to be reminded of this truth as needed.
It’s fun to find something like that, and I love hand made items even if they may not have been intended for me specifically.
What about you? Would you prefer receiving a present that’s store bought, or something original that took a little time and heart to create?
Later on Valentine’s Day I met up with some friends to play Uno. That was MUCH better (and much more fun!) than years passed when I’d essentially sit at home contemplating reasons why I’m waiting for the day to end.
What was pretty cool was out of the four of us, we all represented different types of relationships – 2 are related/family, we are all friends now, and 1 woman hasn’t been married, one’s a widow, one is in a long term good marriage, and I’m divorced. We all had a good time eating chocolate, laughing, and trying to figure out new ways to insincerely say, ‘I’m sorry’ when we played a nasty card.
To cap off the day I showed some nurturing love to myself by having a massage at the local school of therapeutic massage. Hadn’t even realized what day the appointment was on when it was first made – it was just ‘the second Wednesday of the month’. It was so wonderful, AND half as expensive than it would’ve been at a spa.
Then the best part of the evening happened when beginning to fret about if I’ll ever be able to allow a great guy into my life due to the childhood abuses.
(The ring leaders of the trafficking and other sex abusers in early childhood were various family members who I loved and was supposed to have been able to trust, and desperately kept trying to in order to survive. That begat an attachment disorder I’ve been working on healing for waaaay too long to brag about.)
I’m learning, working with God is definitely the way to go!
When I’d asked Dr. Virkler how to heal from it He suggested “journaling with Jesus” to specifically address the issue. When I did that, it morphed into another deep healing session. This time it dug into the core issues of the pain of trust, hope and love my heart and psyche associated with close relationships.
First of all though, have to acknowledge what God had so kindly shown me throughout the earlier part the day; He and I have cured much of the disorder already. The proof is in the random acts of blessings for others, making time to have fun & allowing myself to laugh with genuinely caring friends, and nurturing myself with the massage and doing my part to facilitate healing with the journaling.
So, see? I’m certainly not the shut down, closed off, too-afraid-to-exist-and-be-noticed woman I used to be. But there’s still that pesky issue with not allowing good, truly decent and caring men that I’ve been attracted to, who’ve been perceived as ‘threats to the heart’ by the wounded psyche, to get close.
This ‘healing with God’ journaling/inner healing session delved so deeply into the onset of that wound. Maybe there is hope, after all, this too can be cured.
I was thinking of posting the transcript of what happened so you could see what it involves, how it evolves, and how healing it can be if we can let ourselves get vulnerable, trust the process, and most importantly, trust God. That way, if you have hurts that don’t seem to go away no matter what else you’ve tried, you could learn how much Holy Spirit led inner healing and ‘journaling with Jesus’ could help you, too.
That might be another post in the near future.
(If you’d like to learn more about ‘journaling with Jesus’, the book “Four Keys to Hearing God’s Voice” by Patti and Mark Virkler explains it perfectly. You can purchase it through the “Communion With God Ministries” website. There’s also a blog post written by Dr. Mark Virkler about how to perform the Inner Healing for yourself.
Hallelujah, I’m learning Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about celebrating a romantic relationship (and being an excuse to eat my way through the dearth thereof :)); it can be a celebration of love in so many other ways, and deeper healing.
Thank You, God!
As mentioned in a previous post, one of the ways I’m shaking my life out of the rut it’s been entrenched in for far too long is by doing at least one fun thing a week. So geeked about next week’s – a lady friend and I are going on a short road trip to see the Christian band, “Elevation Worship”. They do a couple of my favorite Christian songs – “Rattle” and “Graves into Gardens” . “Graves Into Gardens” is perfect for the healing God has been performing in my life these last few weeks. Enjoy!
