Tuesday, 6/8/21
(This post could contain a trigger for some people)
(For an explanation of who the ‘Grace’ aspect of my psyche is, please refer to the ‘Cast of Characters’ tab on the home page.)
Hello Good Person, how are you doing?
Can you sometimes see your strength, perhaps in hindsight, in moments when you feel the weakest?
This is my third attempt at writing a new post for this week with quite a few hours already vested in the previous attempts. Let’s see if I’m finally on the right track . . .
As I was trying to (coherently) type a different post a couple of minutes ago the realization that the neck issues I’ve been having this last week or so could be a ‘body memory’ connected to a buried traumatic recollection that is working it’s way up into the conscious. (The emerging memory(ies) have been mentioned in the last couple of Tuesday posts.) I know there were incidences of childhood abuse that included strangling and this irritated, itchy rash suddenly reminded me of what it would have felt like if something like rough baling twine was wrapped around my throat. And after that thought came up the itching stopped and the irritation is lessening.
Hmmmm, is that merely coincidence???
Hooray that after a week or two of having this increasingly bothersome rash that there’s potential for relief, especially if the memory can be resolved.
Hooray (?) that the memory is coming closer to the surface so it can be dealt with. I’m sure you can imagine, though, that the possibility of having to relive something that has stayed hidden for so long (for good reason) isn’t exactly something to look forward to with gleeful anticipation, you know? But if I survived the actual abuse the first time as a child without help, then I can deal with its memory now. I have good friends to turn to, therapy, the ‘tools’ for coping I’ve gained, and am now free of self harming behaviors. Most importantly, there’s always my Highest Power to glom onto for strength and comfort when feeling the worst and weakest.
Hopefully (sort of :)) I’m finally mentally strong enough to let it come up and out.
Over all I’ve had a fairly good week. Spent some time laughing and learning with good friends a couple of days ago. Was able to co-counsel a teen through a healing session today, and what a blessing that was. It’s funny, or rather a God moment, because the ‘1 Minute Motivation’ daily meditation from Pastor Steven Furtick that was sent today was so apt for what our teen girl (and I) are each working through. It was about how satan comes against those who he believes have value to the world, and the greater the value of what the person has to do, the greater the fight satan puts up to try and stop us.
Was trying to figure out a song to attach to today’s post but think I’ll put up the ‘1 Minute Motivation’ instead. I hope it’ll inspire and help you to see your own worth and reason to fight for yourself, in case you too, need to be reminded of that.
Looking forward to meeting with you here on Friday!
