If Only Opportunities Were OBVIOUS

4/14/25

Hi Brave Being,

What’s one opportunity you’ve taken advantage of to push yourself out of your comfort zone lately?

Opportunities are funny things, aren’t they? 

Some of them we can’t be sure of what they really mean, if they’re real, what it’ll take to make the most of them, where they’ll lead, or how they’ll end up. 

‘Should’ we react to them by being positive and exhilarated or anxiety provoked to the point of throwing-up? Occasionally they can drag us kicking and screaming so far out of our comfort zone it takes a while to recognize the new place we’ve been transplanted to is actually batter  then where we left behind.  I can bounce between all those reactions, and more, in certain cases :).

If only God (or the opportunity) would tell us in a definitive way what the intention is, or somehow let us know ahead of time it’s coming so if we have another commitment we can reschedule and/or be prepared for it. The same possibility may also keep arriving in different vehicles/wrappings/environments than we imagined it would. If it would announce itself when it’s in our realm we could be aware of and appreciate it for what it is.   

And timing! Lord knows, some opportunities could still be available at a later time even when missed, but when I see one make a 90 degree turn and detour when I try to wave it over, or reach for it because I mistakenly thought it was for me now, or didn’t know to look for it, wasn’t ready yet, or was on my way somewhere else when noticing it, it’s hard to tell if the passed-by chance was a ‘not yet’ or permanently closed door.

Do you know what I mean? 

One personal example of all of this is, ever since I began writing in the preteen years, people have told me I had a gift for it and should pursue it as a viable career. 

Over time I’ve half-heartedly submitted a couple articles and children’s stories but due to feeling unworthy had never put much effort into it.

I often wondered if it was a pipe dream, like so many other hopes I hold in my heart but have been afraid to believe for.

Several people have recently asked when I was going to write a memoir so I decided it was time to try. God seemed to quickly confirm it when the next day I found some info on a company I’d heard about that has excellent reviews, then they contacted me to announce they were starting a new program at a deep discount.  I’m now working with an amazing coach and wonderful group of women writers.

It’s been quite stressful though because I’m writing about the early years, when having to participate in the sex trafficking, sexual abusive material, sexual abuse, etc. I really don’t wanna go down those roads again.

There’s also an aspect to the abuse I’ve survived but have never heard anyone else talk about, yet I know others experienced it too. In the blog I’ve only ever alluded to it in a poem. It’s one of the things I’ve always felt called to speak up about because someone has to start the conversation so other survivors can learn they’re not alone, the shame is not ours, our intrinsic infinite value was never diminished, and we, too, have the right and ability to live a fun, purposeful life filled with love, just like everyone else does. 

But when the time came to address this subject my brain was paralyzed with fear and lingering shame. I couldn’t write about anything, for any reason. 

Finally, I allowed God to become greater than the past and was able to write well about it, but then nearly became sick with anxiety before presenting it to the group. 

It ended up leading to such an amazing healing opportunity when the women were accepting and encouraging about it and said I handled the subject matter well. So much more shame was released due to their understanding. It was such a huge step to take and it was as if another load of crap I hadn’t realized I was still bowing under was off loaded. 

Hallelujah! And Thank You God, and ladies, for this unexpected opportunity to heal.  

Writing about the abuses has been coughing up some rather impressive nightmares, too. The last one had quite the surprising ending, though. 

In the dream I was inside an old building, looking out a window as a raging lunatic beat an innocent man to death in the parking lot. He then began torturing the rescued animals that were in pens around the perimeter of the structure. 

I tried to lock the doors to keep him out but the bolts to the locks stayed inside the door frame when engaged and wouldn’t stop the violent male from getting in. I had tried to call 911 but the phones were completely malformed and there was no way to dial the correct numbers and make a clear connection. 

I was desperate while looking around for a solution and was completely surprised when I saw a man on the other side of the room, and even more so when I realized he was there to help me. I wasn’t alone anymore.

That’s when I woke up and wondered if the man was Jesus. 

So often I’ve asked Jesus to send someone mortal to protect and walk beside me. And while there has been quite a few times I’d hoped I’d seen an answer to that prayer, the pervasive sense of self-worthlessness left me wondering why someone would want to be that for me. The elusiveness of it always reminded me of the fantasies I’d conjure up in childhood when hell was happening and I’d pretend someone was rescuing me, but no one actually did. I couldn’t grasp if what I saw in the present was just a wishful illusion, or truth.

I always craved for it to be truth.

A couple weeks previous to this nightmare there was an incident with a threatening driver that kinda shook me up. I wasn’t sure if what happened was personal and connected to other incidences over the past few years, or just an idiot being, well, an idiot. 

At first I did what shame and the realm I grew up in taught me to do and kept it to myself.

But a couple of days later prayer must have allowed God to become greater than the shame and I opted to ask several people, including my martial arts instructor, if they saw what happened. 

Then the instructor did something I never imagined. 

He asked me to tell a very abbreviated version of my story in one of the classes. When I did I briefly mentioned I had a current concern but didn’t explain it. 

After I was done the instructor told the others they were to look out for me, and they immediately said yes! I was so grateful, I didn’t know how to react.

I’ve healed enough to receive this offer of protection and believe these people do have my back. Thank You, God.

And in various ways over the years God keeps proving He always does, too.

Hallelujah again!

I recently went on a retreat with some friends. A lady there told me that a few months ago she had mentioned to another woman about how I had inspired her, and that lady told someone else. I was so shocked I couldn’t take in the details of all she said.

For a completely different example, several weeks ago I received a fb notice of a ‘round up of past events’ for a group I follow. I clicked on it a few times, hoping it was a link to the Holy Grail I guess, and I was kinda bummed out every time because they were really just advertising a future event in a different way. Doh 🙂

What am I trying to say here? 

Some opportunities may not always be what we hope they are, but we still have to try in order to prove to ourselves we’re worthy of the effort and hope, even when it turns out it’s not what we wanted it to be.

Other chances may not be available forever, but the right ones will continue to come around until we’re ready to receive and make the most of them. And we never know just how far the possibilities we take advantage of will be passed on into other people’s lives, whether for good or evil.

There are also times when we have no choice in what we have to face, whether it’s a positive happenstance like meeting wonderful people who become blessings, or if it’s more along the line of illnesses, accidents, trauma and it’s after effects, etc. But we always have the opportunity to choose how we live our lives in response to them. Do we let them define us, or when we know better do we opt to learn and build on them to grow and shine brighter, even if it costs us our comfort? 

Which will it be for you? Somehow, I already know; you’re the type of person who chooses to explore the possibilities around you, to become a greater light. 

Thank you for being that kind of person.

And thank You for being that sort of God, God. 🙂

Amen.