Kindness Matters

3/22/22

(For an explanation for who the ‘Michael’ aspect of my mind is, please use the ‘Cast of Characters’ tab on the home page.)

Welcome Wonderful You,

How are you doing today?  (I do care.)

The questions of the week are: Do you notice when people do kind things, whether it was meant specifically for you or not?  And do you give kindness, even towards people/beings you don’t know?  If so, how? You could inspire me (and others) if you respond to that last q. at the bottom of page, underneath the videos.

Several weeks ago, while trying to figure out how to integrate the ‘Michael’ splinter of my mind, it occurred to me that he was created out of violence for protection from the overwhelming  emotional/sexual/physical/mental abuses I was enduring at such a young age.  (Read early posts like “Still Innocent” dated 11/9/20, to get an idea of what was going on if you don’t already know.)

I’ve been so angry with this self protective aspect of psyche because of what I always perceived as his bullying tactics, which keep me believing I’m too unworthy for someone to genuinely care about me.  He’s also been persistent in pushing away a lot of good people, decent males even more so, especially if I care about and am attracted to them because he perceives them as threats to my heart. 

Finally began to perceive Michael in a more compassionate way when my therapist told me he was just trying to protect me the only way he knew how.  I started to intentionally assimilate Michael at that point and may have even written about it, but for some reason must’ve forgotten what I was trying to accomplish or maybe couldn’t figure out how.  Hopefully I know better and/or will persist this time.  I’d really like to get him calmed down, be more cognizant of the good in the world (including me and others), and to understand that I, Elder Pearl, can handle any situation.  That way he can feel secure enough to let himself to be reunited with the rest of the psyche and be tempered by the healed, better regulated part of the brain.  He’ll then be more apt to allow decent relationship(s) to progress with less (or even no?!!!) self protective defensiveness.   

In order to show ‘Michael’ kindness and gentleness I bought a couple of children’s books to read to him, and adopted a rabbit from the humane society I help out at.  I decided it would be Michael’s in order to show him what softness and gentleness from a living being feels like, and that he (and therefore I) am worthy of it. 

(BTW, the (male) rabbit was renamed ‘Alice’ when he came home – to go with my dog, ‘Cooper’.  Not everyone appreciates that :).  Hopefully, on some spiritual level Alice (the rabbit) does get what an honor it really is to be named after such an appreciated (by me, anyway) rocker/musician and man.)   There’s a video of an interview with my favorite ‘Uncle (I wish!) Alice Cooper and his wife, Cheryl, at the bottom of this post after the music video.  (If I remember to add it!)

Ok, back to Michael . . . 

With this endeavor of nurturing Michael lovingly and kindly to heal him into wholeness I’d like to honor the good deeds of others, this time of people who have anonymously shown me what decency looks/feels like even though they didn’t I would be the recipient.  I don’t know if they’ll ever read this, but like Alice (the rabbit), maybe on some spiritual level they’ll get an intuitive ‘memo’.  And perhaps these anecdotes will remind me (and others if they don’t already) to inflict kindness on unsuspecting others more often.

So many instances have happened in the park I love to walk at, and again, I am not trying to imply they were done for me, specifically, I just happened to gratefully find or receive the ‘random acts’.  

I’ve previously written about a white daisy I found near an entryway and then some sprigs of lavender that someone put around my favorite bench.  And how quite a few people, when I was exercising there when gyms were shut down due to covid, would say a few words of encouragement as they walked by and several even climbed a couple flights of stairs with me to talk and show support.  There was also that time I found a sticker that read “You are beautiful” on a monument after I had just been told, once again, (by she who shall remain nameless) that I have never been good looking.  (Definitely a ‘God-incidence’!) 

There were also cards someone wrote positive messages in and left them t different places around the park, in envelopes that would have various addresses on them like “for YOU, yes You!”. 

Just a couple of weeks ago someone had made a heart out of snow and leaned it up against the base of a wall.  Noticed it just before my dog peed on it!  I left it there thinking someone could’ve put it there for their beloved to find, but when I came back after the walk it was still there (and pure white – thank God :)) so I claimed it!  It’s now in my freezer and it lightens my heart to see it.

Last summer there was such a decent guy at the park who repeatedly did the most thoughtful thing; I have no doubt he would do the same for anyone else.

When doing some stretches after exercising and while training my dog I’d frequently perform similar actions by holding my arm straight out in front or to the side with my hand up, palm facing out to either loosen the muscles or use it as a sign for my dog to ‘stay’.  Whenever this guy would see that happen, no matter how far away he was, he would immediately take it as a ‘don’t come closer’ sign (I assume) and turn and walk in another direction.  That happened quite a few times and it showed that he respected me(!) (and any other person he’d see do that, I’m sure) enough to heed the signal, even if he was misinterpreting it.  That simple (to him) and repeated action helped a healing heart and psyche feel more worthy, and even a little bit more empowered.  Don’t know that it would ever occur to me to notice and/or do the same for someone else.

Once I realized what was happening I wanted to call out to tell him it wasn’t personal and he didn’t have to walk away, but I’d be yelling to a back and figured he wouldn’t hear.   (And let’s face it, too self-conscious, really.)

There have been many other instances of arbitrary thoughtfulness, but you get the point.  And I wonder if any of the people who do wonderful, anonymous acts, ever understand just how they’ve positively impacted another’s day/heart.

Soooo many thanks to anyone who performs random acts of kindness – you are appreciated for just being you.

Before writing this post, a song I never previously paid much attention to came to mind – “Hands (Only Kindness Matters)”  by Jewel.  I read the lyrics and they are so . . . relevant, in alignment of what this post’s message is about, and to life in general.  Thank you for this beautiful reminder, Jewel.   

Now for the “Uncle’ Alice (and his wife) interview . . .